Lungs that hollered in a sleeper hold

2004-06-28T14:43:00.000-07:00

Obligatory

This man puts me in a frenzied rage of dance, air drums, and air solos:

So much style, the kids from this day and age could learn so much

2004-06-22T12:44:00.000-07:00

OJ DID IT NIGGA WATCH OUT

Causeequalstime: my stomach has been destroying me all morning
Causeequalstime: never again will i eat cold pizza!
Tapion576: I love cold pizza
Causeequalstime: youse insane nigga
Tapion576: reheated > fresh
Tapion576: Completely serious
Causeequalstime: there's more visible orange oil the second time aroun
Tapion576: tell it to the judge
Causeequalstime: judge re-hito
Tapion576: how impeccable, alfred
Causeequalstime: o
Tapion576: why would I ever use the word "impeccable" while talking to somebody named alfredo
Causeequalstime: ahahaha i was opening a can of soup and i thought to myself "Judge Caushold"
Tapion576: haha doesn't really fit
Causeequalstime: sorta
Causeequalstime: reinhold, caushold
Causeequalstime: guess its just my insane user interface

2004-06-14T01:36:00.000-07:00

Late Night with Alfredo Coonan O'Brien

fernacular (1:30:45 AM): i'm on my laptop taking a shit... right now
Causeequalstime (1:30:55 AM): haha
fernacular (1:31:11 AM): here comes the push...
Causeequalstime (1:31:17 AM): HAHA
fernacular (1:31:27 AM): having a hard time with this one
fernacular (1:31:46 AM): oh wow that was monumental
Causeequalstime (1:31:58 AM): haha
Causeequalstime (1:35:07 AM): my friend thinks youre fucking gross fernando
fernacular (1:35:36 AM): and how!

2004-06-08T12:32:00.000-07:00

You have just eneter chat "howdy partner."

Causeequalstime: ever hear the gybes
zYnBios: ya
Causeequalstime: ben IMs me and is like "oh you know that power part in Antennas to Heaven" and im like no
Causeequalstime: and then he cut it out of the song to show me and i'm like i know what you're talking about, faggot

2004-06-06T01:11:00.000-07:00

The Retern of Bobby Mcfarren

BRENNSTOFFAUFNAH: that remidns me of a another story
BRENNSTOFFAUFNAH: so yesterday there was this blak guy going around in my neighborhood
BRENNSTOFFAUFNAH: and my dad was freaking out and had an asthma attack while my mom was at her book club
BRENNSTOFFAUFNAH: so i was like shit
BRENNSTOFFAUFNAH: and i started freakin out
BRENNSTOFFAUFNAH: the end

WOLFBRIGADE

DREAM CAR

MY BANDS LOGO WHICH IS A RIPOFF OF THE ATD-I GASMASK

CONCLUSION: YO YUSH

2004-06-01T23:21:00.000-07:00

The Answer is: Mystic_Cell

Causeequalstime: ok who am i impersonating
Causeequalstime: "hi, i post at the snake pit and i'm like 17 or something and jewish and i never kissed a girl ever yet i'm trying to call someone emotionally unstable about their image on a dragonball z messageboard and i also talk about him at the snake pit"
Tongan NZer: HAHAHAHA
Tongan NZer: Oh god, the snake pit
Causeequalstime: if anything, m_c needs jeff to hold onto his pathetic life
Causeequalstime: its all he has to live for
Tongan NZer: Yeah, now Matt Cruea doesn't care about him anymore

2004-05-29T20:25:00.000-07:00

ahahahahaha fags.

Being fat in a metalcore band and sucking a lot is really funny.

2004-05-29T02:13:00.000-07:00

The Future Of Maura Davis Undecided

Causeequalstime: i hope maura davis gets a new band
Tapion576: You can't stop the music man
Causeequalstime: what if she and jlew got together and collaborated...
Causeequalstime: or got randy
Tapion576: Either way
Causeequalstime: and no i dont mean randy macho man savage
Tapion576: Thanks for ruining that...
Causeequalstime: Oooooooyeaaaa
Tapion576: it's like trimmed redhead pussy SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM

[Current Music: Denali - Everybody Knows]
[Current Mood: Kurosawa]

2004-05-27T23:50:00.000-07:00

Don't fuck with Koivu

I seriously owned the Avs with the Habs in NHL '97

Summer is going to be crazy.

2004-05-26T16:07:00.000-07:00

A Monumental Achievement for Indie Rockers and Video Gamers Everywhere...

1. Megaman 2-Flashman - 2:08
2. Double Dragon 2-Stage 2 - 1:45
3. Goonies 2 - 2:19
4. Bubble Bobble - 1:45
5. Bubble Bobble-Shark Skeleton - 0:32
6. Wizards and Warriors-Intro - 1:09
7. Bomberman 2 - 2:29
8. Bionic Commando-P.O.W. Camp - 1:08
9. Super Mario Bros. 2-Underworld - 0:37
10. Super Mario Bros. 2-Overworld - 1:41
11. Contra-Snowfields - 1:10
12. Zelda-Fortress - 1:08
13. Batman 2 - 2:36
14. Megaman 3-Dr. Wiley Stage - 2:00
15. Double Dragon 2 (Story, And Boss Music) - 1:59
16. Castlevania 3-Epitaph - 2:04
17. Ninja Gaiden-Mine Shaft - 1:51
18. Mario 3-Underworld - 0:55
19. Blastermaster-Stage 2 - 1:04
20. Ghosts 'N' Goblins-Intro - 0:04
21. Ghosts 'N' Goblins - 1:07
22. Castlevania-Stage 3 - 2:13
23. Marble Madness - 1:22
24. Metal Gear-Jungle - 2:20
25. Contra-Boss Music - 2:18
26. Castlevania 3-Evergreen - 1:59

Bomb. Ass. And completely loved by yours truly.

2004-05-24T16:43:00.000-07:00

Haha, oh those internet liars!

Spastic Dance: HE IS BENJIM5510
Spastic Dance: hahahahahaha
Causeequalstime: lmao
Spastic Dance: he got a livejournal
Spastic Dance: 313s_finest
Causeequalstime: LMAO
Spastic Dance: he keeps asking me to add him
Spastic Dance: READ IT
Spastic Dance: I SWEAR IT'S THE MOST HILARIOUS THING EVER
Causeequalstime: gimme a direct link
Spastic Dance: HE'S A WHITE FATASS
Spastic Dance: i don't have one
Causeequalstime: ugh
Spastic Dance: seriously read it
Spastic Dance: it's so sad.
Causeequalstime: Aiyo, this sucks, I have to fuckin study for this huge ass spansih test and spanish is stupid. I am bored and all this tight gear i ordered from nflshop.com and other sites hasnt come for like a week! Peace
Causeequalstime: 08:02 pm - DB's First Entry Son
Aiyo, wassup ya'll. Dis here is my first entry, numero uno. Ima give a shoutout to my boy Twony for helpin me design my lj yo. It was fuckin confusin dogg. Yeah, im outty now. Holla at me.
Causeequalstime: oh god
Causeequalstime: Interests: 58: anything dats tight, asses, ben wallace, bet, black people like me, chicks, chiefs, chillin', comedy, concerts, cypris hill, d12, da 313, da hood, dodgers, drums, eminem, food, football, freestylin', g-unit, girls, homies, horror, kareem, kg, kobe, koo people, ladies, lakers, m. faulk jfo, madden, methodman, mlb, more cool shit, movies, music, nba, nfl, obie trice, pimp, pistons, priest holmes, rap, redman, snoop dogg, suga, t-mac, the chapelle show, the roots, titties, twony, usc, women, word, working out, writing, wu tang clan. [Modify yours]
Causeequalstime: bet, black people like me
Spastic Dance: HAHAHAHA
Spastic Dance: i'd like to point out that he's disgusting and has never even been with a girl
Spastic Dance: like ever
Causeequalstime: Location: Detroit, Michigan, United States
Spastic Dance: uh no
Causeequalstime: 313 thats los angeles right
Spastic Dance: i have no idea what 313 is
Causeequalstime: its an area code.
Causeequalstime: http://www.livejournal.com/users/313s_finest/809.html?view=553#t553
Spastic Dance: hahahaha
Spastic Dance: dunked

My work here is definitely done.

2004-05-24T15:50:00.000-07:00

Pending Draft Legislation Targeted for Spring 2005

I'm not doing it.

2004-05-23T17:53:00.000-07:00

You know

I bet girls really don't like it when guys give them facials.

2004-05-21T22:52:00.000-07:00

The Boys of ...?

Causeequalstime: i'm renaming summer and i need some ideas...
Tapion576: how ambitious

[current mood: vampoozled :\}
{current music: OOIOO - Shizuku Ring Neng (this band is fucking crazy)]

2004-05-21T17:34:00.000-07:00

EVERYONE.

ANIMAL COLLECTIVE IS COOL.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

Video link for "Who Could Win A Rabbit (right-click and save target as, please)

2004-05-20T20:19:00.000-07:00

Future Endeavours...

ZoundsWarSubvert: I'm starting a new band called Mölesting Grandpa
Causeequalstime: i'm starting a new thrash band called Vincent Lecavalier
Causeequalstime: this summer
ZoundsWarSubvert: Haha
Causeequalstime: if i can get a drum machine, it's gonna be a one man band
ZoundsWarSubvert: Mine is a grindcore band with male and female vocals.
ZoundsWarSubvert: Our first album is called Party Enema
Causeequalstime: my band right now is supposed to play a show by the end of the month but i dunno now
Causeequalstime: we're a two piece keyboard vocals goregrind band
ZoundsWarSubvert: What band would that be?
Causeequalstime: Inelastic Collision
ZoundsWarSubvert: Inelastic Collision?
ZoundsWarSubvert: Yeah

2004-05-19T16:28:00.000-07:00

The Black Entry

Causeequalstime: i hate how on the bus today, my dick was really erect and i had to stand up and walk home with this black girl
Causeequalstime: i had my tight jeans on too
zYnBios: tight jeans conceal boners better imo
zYnBios: it could be anything in your pocket
Causeequalstime: my boner was looking rather straightforward tho
zYnBios: oh..
Causeequalstime: yeah
zYnBios: do you know any smart black girls
Causeequalstime: honestly, no
zYnBios: hahah
zYnBios: me neither
Causeequalstime: have i ever? hmm... nope
zYnBios: i've known some wise black women
zYnBios: older
Causeequalstime: they have all that experience or something
zYnBios: ever know a smart black guy
Causeequalstime: yea, urkel
zYnBios: irl
Causeequalstime: well no

2004-05-18T21:36:00.000-07:00

ITE: FAT BOY GOT THURRRRRVED

BenJim5510: we havnt talked for a while, maybe i was fat then, its called growing, i am 6'0 and can bench a shit load i work out everyday i play football i am a qb, fat qbs dont exist
Causeequalstime: sure, fucking liar
Causeequalstime: lying fatasses are the worst
BenJim5510: its not like i have been playing footbalkl my whole life or anything
Causeequalstime: i know you're about 5'7 and fat as hell, fatass
BenJim5510: i am guessing you went to pachills
BenJim5510: hahah, cause u know me, u mean i was 5'7 and fat
Causeequalstime: you guess like a fatass, fatty
BenJim5510: wow, u havnt said fatass or fatty today
Causeequalstime: i havent until i talked to you, fatass
Causeequalstime: fatass more like FAT EVERYTHING
BenJim5510: oh i see
Causeequalstime: pssssch
Causeequalstime: oh shit
Causeequalstime: so whats new, fatstuff
Causeequalstime: eat anymore in the past 5 secs

2004-05-16T15:02:00.001-07:00

Enter: thechad

chadxor: "Another unpleasantly glib, shallow demonstration of Kaufman's self-satisfied cleverness, further marred by failed pretensions to profundity about romantic destiny."
chadxor: ~Frank Swietek, One Guy's Opinion
chadxor: on ESOTSM
chadxor: i like how he used as big of words as fuckin possible
Causeequalstime: that sounds like a cursive song
Causeequalstime: marred by failed pretensions to profundity about romantic destiny
chadxor: lmao
chadxor: its funny cuz its true
Causeequalstime: yea
chadxor: are you a cursive fan.......
Causeequalstime: not really anymore
chadxor: oh
chadxor signed off at 3:03:43 PM.

2004-05-16T11:55:00.000-07:00

This spoke to me in an ominous way

Causeequalstime: i have to take out the trash
HeavyArmsSix: okay bye
HeavyArmsSix: i've never heard of any garbage coming on sundays
Causeequalstime: yeah but there's garbage in the kitchen -_-
HeavyArmsSix: you live in chaos, alf
HeavyArmsSix: true chaos

[current tunez: Fugazi - Epic Problem]
[thoughts on that tune: This is by far one of my most favorite Fugazi songs! It really seems to describe how I feel at the moment! Love ya, Ian...]

2004-05-15T19:07:00.000-07:00

Dragon Warrior: booboofeces

itp: oh my a booboofeces draws near
you attack! booboofeces loses 2 hp!
booboofeces attacks! you lose 0 hp!
you attack! booboofeces loses 2 hp!
booboofeces attacks! you lose 1 hp
you attack! booboofeces loses 2 hp!
booboofeces is defeated! you gain 10 exp. points
and 12 gold.

2004-05-14T22:17:00.000-07:00

Cedric Zavala, Formerly Bixler-Zavala

fernacular: if you don't know who the fall is, you've been listening to too much hip-hop and heavy metal
Causeequalstime: lol
fernacular: he's got stage presence
Causeequalstime: like a stage commander...
fernacular: he's like in the middle of two insane guitarists on stage
fernacular: flanked by them
fernacular: and he's in the middle going shit-crazy
Causeequalstime: well now a guitarist and a keyboard
fernacular: well yea
fernacular: i mean in atdi
fernacular: i think that looked cooler on stage though
Causeequalstime: paul was like, hey i'm in the battle room *bass solo*
Causeequalstime: and tony was on mortar duty
Causeequalstime: actually paul was like napoleon

2004-05-13T16:46:00.000-07:00

ALFXC0RE

Thirty2Seconds: dude
Thirty2Seconds: you totally have your own lj communitity
Thirty2Seconds: http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=alf_core
Causeequalstime: WHAT THE FUCK
Thirty2Seconds: haha
Causeequalstime: Autumn Leaves Fall Community!
Causeequalstime: NO.
Causeequalstime: GAY
Thirty2Seconds: haha
Thirty2Seconds: my friend used to drum for that band
Causeequalstime: that name is so bad
Causeequalstime: my name rules tho

2004-05-13T16:08:00.000-07:00

BOARD YYYYYYOUTH

Hmm, changing formats with this I suppose. From now on it's just going to be my new way of broadcasting how funny I find things that I am involved in...

Causeequalstime: Hola.
Hat of straw: Hi, who is this?
Causeequalstime: Cause.
Hat of straw: Where would I know you from?
Causeequalstime: Shadows of Namek. I'm a lurker.
Hat of straw: Awesome.
Causeequalstime: You seem to have many adventures.
Causeequalstime: I thought we should talk.
Hat of straw: Yup.
Hat of straw: We should, see I'm supposed to go to my sisters orchestra concert and I need a way out.
Causeequalstime: Oh I've been in this situation before. My older sister has these stupid dance things.
Hat of straw: uggh... dance things are awful.
Causeequalstime: I just tell her that I hate watching that boring shit, though.
Hat of straw: Like when my sis was in the Nutcracker.
Hat of straw: It was the horrible clothes those guys wore that bothered me.
Causeequalstime: I understand.
Causeequalstime: Probably had his pecker protruding like a real fag, huh?
Hat of straw: Oh yeah.

Hil-a-rious.

2004-05-08T23:02:00.000-07:00

Somethine new already? Yeah!

Alf (it's my stage name, deal dude) on Metallica:

I can't decide if I really truly love Metallica or not. Look, I mean, Metallica of today don't appeal to me at all with their fucked up, inexcusable, production values and boring, cliched lyrics but I admit and acknowledge that ...And Justice For All kills. It seriously kills, possible commits mass genocide on my ears, straight up. But I support the the free trade of music via the internet and all. What do I know (:rolleyes:)? It's not like Metallica didn't get into some of their favorite bands by being turned onto them by friends and relatives. God knows their thrash metal influences just fell right into their fucking lap. I sure as hell never heard of Black Sabbath before, have you?

Sugested album material:

Alf on the Misfits:

The Misfits have the most fucked up and expensive discography to follow. I still love them to pieces anyway. But once I hit the lottery... oh shit, baby.

Suggested album material:

Or you could just buy the Coffinbox set.

Alf on Saetia:

This is what screamo is. It's tolerable and great. I wouldn't have it any other way. Except for maybe Joshua Fit For Battle. Or Orchid, now with members of Panthers!

Suggested album material:

Alf on Pink Floyd:

Pink Floyd got really pretentious after Syd Barrett left. Dark Side of the Moon just doesn't compare to the fucking freakout episode I had after a few listenings of Piper At the Gates of Dawn. "Interstellar Overdrive" and "Take Up Thy Stethoscope And Walk" are the fucking jams, son.

Suggested album material:

Alf on The Fat Boys:

The Fat Boys are seriously underrated. His name is the Human Beat Box for Christ's sake. They have songs about eating incredible amounts of pizza and being in jail because they're fat. It doesn't get better in life than that and you know you can relate, tubby tubbs.

Since I can't find any pictures of it, I suggest "The Fat Boys Are Back".

Alf on AFI:

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? SOMEONE RE-ATTACH DAVEY HAVOK'S BALLS AND TAKE THE COCK OUT OF HIS ASS. LESS GAY WAILS AND MORE BLACK SAILS, FUCKER.

Suggested album material:

Alf on Glenn Branca:

This guy is noisy, huh?

Suggested album material:

Alf on Television (not TV but the '77 punk rock group, kids):

Best guitar solos ever. Set the standard for me, anyway. Elevation might be the most orgasmic song I ever heard in my life and I still believe in that [almost] 3 summers later. Tom Verlaine doesn't get half the credit he fucking deserves and here I am demanding it for him.

Suggested album material:

Alf on Talking Heads:

What the hell is up with that year [1977] and why was it so great? Oh right, David Byrne and co. The world moves on a woman's hips... and the world moves and it swivels and bops.

Suggested album material:

Alf on Xiu Xiu:

Oh god.The sickest, most disgusting, and foul lyrics I have ever read in my life. Jaime Stewart is insane. What a guy though.

Suggested album material:

Wowzers!

2004-05-08T14:22:00.000-07:00

Exhumed/Phobia/Uphill Battle show

1st band: Magnet Plan - Oh man. This band was really bad. No one was feeling them at all and neither was I. They were like an in-the-closet 3rd or 4th rate Godsmack cover band. They had this guy onstage that went on with a fishnet over his head and he was dry-fucking this picture of Marilyn Manson. It was really bad. Then a few more songs in and he starts fellating a microphone. Everyone was egging on his death or something. Really bad but sort of funny? 4/10

2nd band: Mercitron - These guys were alright in this showgoer's opinion. Very fresh, this show being only their second, so they were all very energetic about playing to a bigger crowd than just their friends (who they reminded that they were awesome). I was rather feeling them during their 2nd song, which of all their songs was the longest; They played about 3 songs but each were something close to twleve minutes each of pretty agressive and brutal grindcore. There was something very "take no prisoners" in Mercitron and I suspect that their show will get even better the next time I see them (hopefully). 9/10

3rd band: Uphill Battle - Oh shit dudes, the 'Battle! They played a really great set with some new stuff off from Wreck of Nerves. I was straight going off for them, man. They really held my attention and made me happy to be there. The highlights definitely included: Lingering Existence, The Stench is Spreading, and Climate Control. 10/10

4th band: Phobia - What a surprise of the night. I really never have been one for Crustgrind or anarchocrust grind, or whatever you want to call Phobia but these guys were damn good and put a fun atmosphere around everyone. Shortest but definitely the best set of the night. During their set, the pit got pretty mean so we all went for it and this fucking asshole that was bleeding bled all over a bunch of people, including me and my goddamn jacket. Weak. Also during this set, this lame kid from my school was there and all he did was come in and pitjock like a true turd (and I wound up jamming my pinky and that hurts really bad!). 10/10

5th band Exhumed - Oh. My. God. Gore. Fucking. Metal. Exhumed started the set with The Matter of Splatter and by the time they got to Slaughtercult my neck was destroyed. The show was broken up at 1:30am. Stupid Tempe and its curfew. 9/10

Entire night - 8.4/10

2004-05-08T14:05:00.000-07:00

What I hope to accomplish here:

Basically, I'm sick of not being able to voice my opinion to enough people. I rule! I have a good attitude! So I'm gonna review some old favorite albums, some new albums, funny shit, and whatever the hell else I please, basically. I may entertain you in the process...

What you can expect to see soon:

The last show I want to was for Exhumed, Phobia, Uphill Battle, Mercitron, and Magnet Plan at the Clubhouse here in lovely Tempe, Arizona. I will put that up first and probably right now! Artists I plan on telling you about will include: Animal Collective, Fridge, Los Crudos, The Mercury Program, The Replacements, and why I love them of course (album reviews, articles, and more!). Also, expect an incredibly unhealthy obsession with At the Drive-In and Fugazi.

Who are you and why are you so bold?

I'm Alfredo, I'm mexican, and I'm originally from New Jersey but now reside in Arizona. I like watching the NHL and especially love the Calgary Flames and the Montreal Canadiens but still have much love for the Devils.

Wait, wait, wait, kid. Do you like movies?

Yes! But I suck horribly at reviewing them! Please go see my good buddies Kevin, Jeff (known as Jeff S. at this site, which is one of my favorites) and also Mr. Roger Ebert. All are very well thought from pretty well read people. If my good man Seth had a regular reviewing gig, he'd definitely take the top spot on this list too. Love that kid.

Ciao from Mao,

Alfredo